The Reel Deal and Other Bad Jokes
Monday, January 03, 2005
Q: Are there any questions that can't be answered by the glossary?

A. No. If you have any questions ask me and they'll go under here.

1. C-stand: a stand with an arm attachment that can be used to hold numerous things including flags or even lights.
2. Gobo arm: the part of a C-stand that hold stuff. The Gobo head is also a separate piece.
3. Gel: a sheet of transparent colored plastic used to alter a light's color, sometimes for effect, sometimes to compensate for filmstock.
4. Source: a light; a source of light.
5. Dolly: a wheeled platform to mount the camera on.
6. Jib arm: an arm on the dolly that moves the camera from the dolly.
7. Dolly track: if you want to capture a dolly move on camera, you put the dolly on track.
8. Rule of thirds: Divide your picture into thirds horizontally. Now vertically. The points of intersection from those two dividing lines are the points of greatest interest on the screen. Place your subjects there--your actor's eyeline on the top right corner, or jaw on the bottom left. Not both at once though.
9. Looking room: a subject has to have a space in the picture to look into, unless you're trying to be unsettling.
10. Boom pole: what you extend the microphone on.
11. Shotgun: the standard microphone used to capture sound for a motion picture.
12. Grip: a crew member dedicated to rigging anything and everything not electric--C-stands, flags, dolly and dolly track.
13. DP: Director of Photography; Cinematographer. The guy behind the camera. Directs the electrics and grips, or directs the Gaffer and the Key Grip and they direct the electrics and grips.
14. AC: Assistant Camera. Takes care of the camera for the DP--sets focus marks, sometimes does slate, has lenses and filters ready.
15. AD. Boss of the set. Keeps track of the tasks that everyone is doing and assigns them new tasks as events warrant. Runs the operation.
16. Hi-Hi: a light stand with three locking wheels and a lollipop at the top. These babies will put a light at least fity feet in the air.
17. Lollipop: also called a C-boom adapter, this will hold a larger (junior) light's pin or an elephant ear.
18. Junior: a junior light has a pin that slides into a junior stand's junior receptacle and is held there with a screw lock-off. ...Shut the fuck up, you all have dirty minds.
19. Baby pins are smaller than junior pins. Instead of being on the light they go on the stand and slide into the receptacle on a baby light.
20. Elephant ear: these are held by lollipops. They hold frames or poles.
21. Craft service: the people who provide the food for the crew. If male, these people always have big penises. If female, they always have charming personalities as well as beautiful faces and big breasts. Just in case any are reading this and I work with them sometime.

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