The Reel Deal and Other Bad Jokes
Sunday, August 01, 2004
"Get some sleep. You look tired."
The previously quoted movie was "The Thomas Crown Affair."
Two AM. Me and five other people have just been to a midnight movie showing, and we're hungry. Jason insists we go to a Waffle House he knows. He and Zack go there as a tradition.
Well, there's some story behind that that's pointless to tell you, but Matt, Jimmy, Xack, Damian and I get there first. We stood around talking about the movie for a bit, and the nature of bitches ("Matt is Jimmy's bitch. Justin is a bitch. Xack makes everybody his bitch. And I'm a Mexican. So I'm everybody's bitch," as Damian put it). Then we were bored.
Matt was the one who suggested it. "Lets go Riverdance in the street!" A pause. We all looked at each other.
Now, this is Route 1 we're talking about here, a three lane highway. But it's two AM, so the cars are quite intermittent. After waiting for a pickup on its last gasp to go by, we darted out, hands across each other's shoulders, and did a chorus line style Riverdance. After a second, Damian darted out and joined us ("I gotta get in on this shit!") and then we dashed back into the parking lot, certain that the Waffle House crowd thought we were quite drunk. I thought that we were going to get arrested, but the sheriff inside didn't give a shit I guess.
Jason got there and we decided to go to the Waffle House that Damian and Matt work at, because the food is free. Jason got pissy and stayed at HIS Waffle House. Once there, we enlivened the atmosphere by singing a merry little tune. See, when you start certain songs people really do join in with you. You know the tune. It goes, "Ring ring ring...."
To thank the waitress for not charging us (hey, we're Sanitational Worker) we left a message composed of money. S.W. in coins, underlined with a five and a one, and a tip from Jimmy: "Beware of falling rocks."
"You do that."
I turned him loose and stumbled upstairs after a minute or two, drunk on fatigue but not alcohol (I was mostly acting--maybe I could play a part for Alandria after all. Though I doubt the part I have in mind is the same as what she's thinking of).
Upstairs, I peered about in the darkness. This bed looked to be empty. I shucked my leathers and slipped in. The application of a dagger point to my backside quickly had me on the floor.
"Goddamnit, Alandria! I didn't know you were in there! I just want to get some sleep! It was a goddamn accident, put the knife away!"
Yeah. And if I "accidentally" cop a feel, and "accidentally" get a big ol' stiffy, then I might play hide the sausage "in my sleep"... But I digress.
Damn. I'm gonna have splinters in my face from sleeping on this damn floor.