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The Reel Deal and Other Bad Jokes
Thursday, July 15, 2004
 
"You get to drink from the FIRE HOSE!"
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The quote on the previous post was from my shitty reality show.
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The drive up to Richmond was technically uneventful, but it had some interesting points. For one thing, I finally had occasion to tighten the nut on my driver's side windshield wiper. I was probably something to comment on, standing on the side of the road, shirtless (it was DAMN hot) tightening this thing with a goddamn pair of pliers. So then I got back in the car, turned on the wipers, and it loosened up immediately.  I pulled off at the next exit to get out of the rain. I tightened it up enough that it worked, but by the time I got out on the highway again, the rain had stopped. Of course. Also obvious, I had picked the one exit that made it damn hard to actually get back on the interstate. So I got back on the interstate, like I mentioned in the last fuckin' sentence, and tuned into the most idiotic radio show ever. This guy seemed to think that gay people were taking away from the war effort by assaulting the sanctity of marriage.  Well, hell, I'm kinda skeptical about marriage in the first place, so this ain't the best argument with me.  Who gives a damn? A guy in China married a Barbie doll once, I shit you not, though he divorced her pretty damn quick--she was too stiff in bed, and she just lay there. I could go on, but basically, the guy was an ultra right wing neo-Nazi conservative, you get the idea, and an idiot.
 
That wasn't much, though-I was on a road trip with my family once, with the addition of my grandmother. Dad bought a Ford. If you can avoid this, do so by any means necessary. Dad is apparently forced to buy Fords because, one, it has enough seats that everybody doesn't have to sit directly next to anybody, but even then that large car can become a fucking small space pretty quick. We had Grandma with us, so the her and the two people sitting next to her were pissed. Two, it has enough towing capacity for all the shit that Dad hauls. 
 
Anyway, we were driving not-so-merrily along when the car starts to vibrate. Dad starts pulling over, and the vibration increases to shaking. Then there's a great lurch and the car tilted to ojne side. I looked out the window and observed a wheel bouncing into the median. "Huh." I considered this, "That can't be good." I looked down and saw the axle sparking off of the asphalt. I considered this as well. "Mother of holy fuck!"

We took the rest of the day to get the car and trailer towed, and the only dealership around was a Ford outlet. We pulled out with another damn Expedition, this one with a DVD player. Funny thing, the transmission on that one blew out on Dad on his most recent trip.

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I spent Thursday, or it might have been Friday, scouting locations, meeting actors and tech people, and also playing video games.  These are all theater people, and they all badmouth each other behind their backs, I'm trying to get used to it. These two guys disagreed with each other on a production issue (foamcore combat swords) and told me radically different things. The same thing they both told me was that is it was an ego thing--with the other guy. Hoo boy. I can't wait for the male-female drama.
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Installment 7

"Fine." I hoped that Alandria had packed some rations for the road. "Just show me the accomadations."

Let's skip over the part where I tell you all about getting our stuff and going to the room with the flea-infested staw mattresses, shall I? We'll get right to the part where Kahnrad and I slunk back to the barroom and started gathering information.

I was deep in my cups. My shoulders were hunched and my eyes were hooded. There was a small pile of silver and gold on the table in front of me, obviously meant to pay off my tab.

Well, actually it was bait, as the thief who made a grab for it discovered when I caught his wrist in an iron grip.

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You might have figured it out--I'm kind of in a hard place with this story. I really don't know why I stopped them at the tavern, it just seemed like they shouldn't have reached Gate City in the first day. But you don't talk about all the boring stuff. Sure, you write in implications, but you don't actually describe  it all.  Anyway, I wrote myself into a plot point that I've got to make up. We'll see how I handle it.



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