The Reel Deal and Other Bad Jokes
Sunday, June 06, 2004
"Charles, get the rifle out. We're being fucked. "
Last post's quoted movie was "Heist." A few more great quotes: "You know why the chicken crossed the road? Because the road crossed the chicken."
Coffee Cart Man: Hey buddy. You forgot your change.
Joe Moore: [Takes the change] Makes the world go round.
Bobby Blane: What's that?
Joe Moore: Gold.
Bobby Blane: Some people say love.
Joe Moore: Well, they're right, too. It is love. Love of gold.
This movie looks fucking awesome.
Well, here's an experience. I went to see harry Potter with a friend. The movie itself was excellent. It looked good, very good cinematography, which counts for a lot in my book. Daniel Radcliffe is still a sucky actor, but whaddaya gonna do. Thank God they changed directors. The fact that it was good only heightened the agony of what follows.
About halfway through the movie, there was no picture. I thought it was a dramatic darkness, but when it went on for 5 minutes I realized my error, as did the rest of the audience. So about half the audience went out and bitched. The reel guy said he'd rewind it and turn the picture back on. He did the latter but neglected the former, the FUCKER. So it's playing for a bit, and I'm enjoying the Quidditch, when it happens again. Then the lights come on. And the guy says you can get refunds tomorrow, blah blah blah. This totally FUCKING ruins the movie-going experience, you know?
One of these days those two self-righteous pricks will wake up to find men with cold eyes and colder guns standing over them, informing them that "Mr. Kuhn is VERY DISPLEASED." And the speaker's partner will take the safety off his big fucking gun in a very menacing way, and the fuckers will realize that they really shouldn't have ruined J. Kuhn's movie-going experience.
So on the way home I stopped at PS211. It was goth night. I saw one chick who was topless, excepting pasties.
I'm down with that.
...Unfortunately, so were they. I'm not cool with that. But they probably were. If not cool with that, at least cool in general. It was a breezy night.
So, I start talking to one of the guys who runs the place, Will. Will was wearing a skirt, black hose, and a corset for the occasion, with black lipstick. His Tevas, full beard and copious body hair (all of it red) completed the effect. I wish I'd gotten a picture, it was fucking hilarious. Of course I told him he made a smokin' hot bitch, because obvious lies are funny. We call this irony. Or possibly idiocy.
Now, to get right to the point: he knew a guy who knew a bunch of people who might want their music in a movie. So, I got the hookup and hopefully I have music sources now.