The Reel Deal and Other Bad Jokes
Friday, April 30, 2004
Title Wars: A New Title
Installment 7 of "Nobody's Fool"
He came to a stop in the middle of one long table.
"Now, observe...I shall serenade you. With a song? Surely not, for my voice is poor, though I know many songs of dubious morals. A harp? My fingers are like wood. A horn? I can afford no horn.
No, I shall use this." The fool held up his hand, and a arrow shape of an oak leaf appeared in it. Placing it between his thumbs, he began to blow.
Expecting an assault upon my ears like that of a tortured duck, I was pleasantly surprised by a sound not unlike a master horn player's solo. The tune was plaintive, but not reedy; slow, but not boring.
There was silence. Then the crowd burst into enthusiastic applause, rattling the dishes and shaking dust from the rafters. The fool called out over the last of it.
In case any of you were concerned, the only injury I sustained in the accident was a nicked finger picking up the glass. I may have broken bones, but I ain't noticed 'em yet.
Saw Kill Bill Vol. 2. Good shit. Nice cinematography. Not as much action as the first, but what action it did have was pretty brutal. The scene with Daryl Hannah...this was everybody in the theater: "DAAAAMN!" Or the aproximate. Moon Pie or whatever the chinese dude's name was--he was fuckin' hilarious. Every time he stroked his beard or brushed it to one side he got a laugh. ...I don't feel like being detailed with it. I've got a paper to bullshit after this.
My handwriting has really gotten worse. I can't write in cursive anymroe, and my print is huge and sprawling. When I was in second grade, I had really pretty cursive, better than my teacher's. My teacher was named, I shit you not, Mr. Poindexter.
He was a pretty cool guy though. Young, just got his degree, and he had to deal with me. I had my very own spelling class, apart from the whole Lower School because I was the only person who read Orson Scott Card in second grade. Mr. Poindexter shaved his head once because the class (the lower school consisted of 12 kids) read 60 books in two months. I could have done it solo, definitely now if not then.
The other Lower School teacher was Mrs. Jones. She had an awesome body (what I can recall of it), shining black hair down to her read end, and full, red lips. I had a huge crush on her, which I manifested by constantly trying to annoy her. ...I should go back to that school and see if she still works there and if she wants to teach me anything else.